Anyone interested in filling my position?

I have been a half of one for quite some time now (since my single-digit days to be exact) and until now I can never find the right state of mind to be content. To put it simply, I am the worse half between me and my best friend. I am not usually the type to gossip about other people -lie- and I sure am not the type to allow jealousy to rule my life -again, a lie- so what's the big deal? Everything. And everything is what she gets. EveryONE is what she gets. How is this possible?! I am sure odds exist against her, however, she is completely and utterly IMMUNE to odds! With the economy running amok, there is no way I can compete with perfection. (Brace yourself for the cliche phrase of the evening...) Ignorance is bliss. That said, I believe my world would have been able to function a tiny bit better if she had stopped smearing her accomplishments -which, by the way, should have been mine to take- in my now-putrid face. I know what you're saying (if there's even an audience to listen), "Um, girl, you're one jealous son of a beeswax." Sure. "You need to just find the right place to be happy for her. If you're her best friend, you would be happy for her." Whateva. "Um, girl, you're one jealous son of a bitch." Ok. I GET IT. I know what responses linger in the shadows for me. Trust me, I have tried harder than an erection to live the Eight Fold Way, but, honey, I've found myself running back to the start. Really, trust me. This is why I cannot find a shoulder to lean on in this case because everyone points a finger at me saying I'm the villain. Absolutely NO ONE is playing the role of poor, wretched Cruella De Vil. Maybe, perhaps, my best friend. Shut up, I'm kidding. Am I supposed to be patiently waiting for something better to approach me? Is it even possible that there is something better? I'll find out...because right now, all I'm getting is a wonderful kick in the chode.